You would think that I would be used to it judging by how many countries I’ve visited where light hair is somewhat of a commodity. Guess what, I’m not! Not being able to fit in with the masses comes with its own set of annoyances, such as catcallers and scammers. Two groups of people I’m not quite fond of. Living in Italy, where pretty much anything with legs gets attention, I learned a little trick my friends lovingly refer to as the bitch face.
Everyone knows that if you want to get somewhere fast, attention on the street hinders your path. As I am perpetually tardy, getting where I need to be quickly is key to my success as well as my sanity. As blending in with the dark haired and dark complexioned is somewhat of a challenge (without hair dye and major self tanner), I usually paste on the “bitch face.”
It is a no-nonsense, serious, purposeful expression. Eyes are alert and pointed straight ahead no distractions. It’s unsmiling, but in no way angry. Accompanied by a purposeful walk I hope it shouts, “I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m busy and in a hurry. Please don’t mess with me now, as I may trample you.” The walk is fast the stride long. In action the “bitch face” is about 95% effective, unless faced with Sicilian boys wielding spray.
Warning, should not be attempted in dense crowds or at social gatherings. If overused may harm your social life.